Monday, November 24, 2014

Sherri L. King Thankful Blog

Many of us remember to be thankful all the year round, every single day, which is super awesome, but the government dictates that we need to officially announce what we are thankful for on certain designated days – like Thanksgiving – under penalty of Shunning. Thanksgiving, AKA the National Exchange of Foodstuffs and Used Dishware Day, dates back to Pilgrim times, when, in 2011 The Pilgrims released their first album Nobility. I know this because Wikipedia told me, and Wikipedia never lies. Shunning dates back to caveman times when Oggla got mad at her husband,Ungaa’ledonk, for bringing home animal pelts that clashed with their dirt floors and refused to speak to him for nine days, until he was crushed by a herd of stampeding wildebeests.

So to avoid the dreaded punishment of Shunning and fulfill my yearly Thanksgiving duty in honor of The Pilgrim’s hardship (I’m sure it wasn’t easy getting that album produced!) I’m going to announce to the world some of the many things that I am thankful for. There’s a lot. I’ve been blessed in my life—it’s been great. I’ve got loads of oxygen. That stuff is everywhere I go. And no one’s noticed that I haven’t paid a dime for it, not once, since I was born. So there’s that.

I’m thankful for honeybees. Everyone should be thankful for those little critters. Not to sound like a jerk, but even peeps that are allergic to them should be thankful honeybees are here – don’t get me wrong, they should still avoid them like whoa—for without bees, according to Einstein“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would have only four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.” A lot of other smart people agree with him and that is why I am thankful for bees. Plus their buzzing hum makes for a peaceful noise in the summer. And I’ve been stung by a lot of stinging insects in my life, but never, ever has a honeybee stung me. And I’ve given them ample opportunity; since my family kept beehives and I liked honey and stuff.

Wanna know another thing I’m thankful for? Technology. I recently moved from Ohio to Georgia, which may not sound related, but I moved from a suburb of Cleveland to the middle of NOWHERE Georgia, which is far more beautiful and sunny…but lacking in things like cellphone coverage and super high speed Internet. It’s true that you don’t really know what you’ve got until its gone. Now that those things are gone from our lives, and the twitching of withdrawal has mostlyworn off…I really, really am glad that we live in a world where those things exist. (Especially electricity, zomg, is that stuff not amazing?!) Makes the world seem cold and metallic, just like a big, round robot. Technology is awesome and without it I would whither and die and you, dear reader, would not be reading this incredibly witty blog entry. I could keep praising technology but it might start to get weird, so…paragraph break!

One biggie on my thankful list is skin. The largest organ. It’s pretty cool. Without it we’d look pretty gross. Just saying.

I’m really thankful for my husband, Darrell King, my two dogs, Porkchop and Spike. I’m thankful that I get to sit in my jammies and write stuff for a living. I’m super, mega grateful that I have readers who read the stuff I write, buying my stories, thereby keeping me in fresh jammies, supplying me with electricity, internet and the tools I need to keep on writing. Life is good because of all of these things, but most especially the fresh jammies. Thank you kind and generous readers!

I’m also thankful for my awesome friends and family. I might be banana balls (two out of three docs agree), but they keep me from tipping into the realm of pure crazy sauce, and that’s a tall order for anyone. Luckily all my peeps are superheroes, blessed with individual and unique powers from that one time I splashed them with radioactive waste…or it might have been lukewarm soup. Whatever it was, it made them able to do some pretty amazing stuff, like deal with my crap on a daily basis, and for this I am infinitely thankful. Everyday. Not just National Exchange of Foodstuffs and Used Dishware Day.

One final mention on my mega list of thankfulness is Mandy M. Roth who invited me to take part in this explosively creative boxed set Taming the Alpha. My book Legendary Choice is the first in a Fantasy/Paranormal Romance series. Taming the Alpha, a boxed set of over 20 Alpha Male Tales for just 99 cents, is up for preorder now at all the major outlets including Amazon, iTunes and B&N. It will release Dec. 9th, just in time for Christmas.


Legendary Choice: What do you do when the Norse pantheon asks you to fight in the battle to end all battles? It’s not easy to decide when they send the sexiest demigod in existence to persuade you and even he doesn’t know what you should do. Just go with the flow, it’s not the end of the world. Right?

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